Mualimah Salma Khalfan Alawi

There is no problem to recite the nawafil and the qaza alongside.

Firstly, remember that you're on on the path of serving Islam directly and it is upon Allah to help you get every kind of sustenance, be it knowledge or even worldly. The structure of the hawza is as follows:
The preliminary level (Muqaddamat): Arabic literature, logic, semi-analytical fiqh, and Usul al-fiqh. This takes around 3 to 4 years.
The intermediate level (Sath): Text-based analytical fiqh and usul al-fiqh. Another 2 years.
The advanced level (Kharij lessons) it could take even 10 years depending on how much you would like to advance in the subject.
As for the expenditure, The hawza provides with a student monthly allowance of around 20 dollars for the first years, then it increases to reach around 30. This suffices many students who live very simply.
Other than that there are few other options like eg: You can write or translate books later on or even teach.
All in all, You will go back to your country and serve your community so consider yourself an asset for Islam. If you dedicate yourself to this path, then with the will of Allah, every financial problem can be solved.
Students usually come with some saved capital they have from back home and either keep it in the bank as their savings or spend little by little as they go on. Bills and groceries aren't too expensive if you prefer a simple life. The rent of simple houses are like 100 US or less monthly, with a down payment of maybe 1000 US which you get back when you vacate the house. As for groceries and bills, it could come up to 100 US as well so that comes up to approximately 200 to 250 US monthly depending on your standard of living. People who don't have any capital at hand also survive and are so happy studying with their families. Once you get your resident student visa, your wife can be allowed to study in either Jamia tuz Zahra or Bintul Huda Hawza.
I suggest you be in touch with any seminary student living in your country so that he can give you many other details. Every one has their own experience but All in All, no one regrets being a hawza student even with all the challenges they might face.

Qunut is a mustahab act in namaz, therefore the namaz doesn't become invalid if missed.

Brother in faith, take this law seriously like a wajib act and a duty.
Every single thing is pure until you come to have knowledge of its impurity and Najasat.
How can one imagine when this is a fiqhi law initself, that one should see that whatever one claims is Najis, is really Najis, not merely imagined to be so?!
After bathing, do an Ahd to Allah that you willcome out, dry yourself and even if you touch anything, say, tawakkal ala Allah. Go forward and do all your activities. Infact time yourself to have a five minute bath and follow the footsteps of the Holy Prophet of Islam who never wasted water and many times did his wuzu with half a cup of water.
Even if you pick up any item in a shop, be it frozen or not, your hands dont get najis I can promise you that, because again the laws applies, seeing and not imagining. Even if they are kaafir walking around, ahlekitab ie christians are considered pak, As far as hindus are concerned, you can't imagine who touched and who didn't, so still you're not allowed to imagine. If you saw, then to wash only your hands that too for 10 seconds only should be done.
Try to take out a sadqa (charity) to avoid satanic imaginations which you should remember that shaitan loves working on ones imaginations and cannot come in the way of logical and rational thoughts.
Even if you have to use the english bathroom, remember the people who have put all their lives studying and researching to bring put the fiqhi islamic laws have allowed it so they ought to know more about water splashing or not, take their word like how one takes the word and prescription of a doctor, and stop imagining and asking for proofs again. Your responsibility is to follow the law and thats it.
As far as roads and footpaths are concerned, remember the sun is a purifying agent and everything whereupon the sun shines like the walls, roads, streets etc are pure as you go along walking so once again you dont have to worry even for a moment and consider yourself pure. Push these thoughts away through sadqa and seeking refuge in the Merciful Lord.
Avoid eating foods if you really think kaafirs would have cooked it, that should be the only best thing you could do because food makes the soul and the thoughts incurred by food have the greatest impact in our thoughts and actions. Trust all foods cooked by muslims by saying Bismillah before eating and again, consider it pure.
Even if the workplace you go in happen to be kaafirs, touch the items with ease and trust fully in Allah and follow your duty however difficult it may be at first. Before eating, wash your hands for 10 seconds only and never waste water. Remember all the people who suffer from shortages of water and dont even have enough to drink let alone bath or wash. Think of the accountability of the continuous water wastage. Repent and amend, start afresh and never lose hope. If you really truly want that, then follow all these instructions.
Last but not least, call you wife back and tell her to help you doing all this. It's a sure thing that she will do so in her right mind but dont turn back after making this firm decision to change for the better. Allah is with those who help themselves remember.
I pray you get better by the day.

Now that you know your problem of being extremist in matters of taharat, you can easily evade it from your mind if you are determined. Many renowned scholars have actually said that consider everything pak (pure) even the water found around the washroom. If shaitan instigates that Allah will be displeased with you and nothing of your worship will be accepted, then say its ok, let it be that way. Go for this notion in everything you see and touch or eat if it be according to the Islamic limits like basically knowing that the food is cooked halal or no najasat (impurity) seen has touched the item you come across. Seeing here is the operative word, and simply not imagining. If you set this rule for yourself, then you are sure to overcome the problem in no time. Remember, it all depends on your will power to change and no one can do that for you except yourself. If you take these first steps, then for sure Allah will take a tenfold for you and reward you for this struggle inshAllah. I pray you and all those facing this problem to show their power against shaitan and win him over, through the power and help of Allah, the All powerful, the All Merciful.

Wudhu is mustahab to do during the period and Quran can be read without reading the ayats pertaining to wajib sajdas and according to some maraaje also the suras which have wajib sajdas. Touching the verses of the Holy Quran is not allowed in this state even if one be in wudhu.

Yes it is allowed and infact mustahab to make oneself clean then sit on a prayer mat and do as much dua as you want.

Permanent Niqab or face veil is not an Islamic requirement; it is a personal choice since Niqab is forbidden during Ihram according to most contemporary scholars based on traditions.
According to some rulings, it is better to cover if there is fear of being watched and attracted by Na Mahram.
Islam is a religion that is as easy as possible to follow. Thus when there is fear of such situations, maybe you can cover half your face and when there is no fear of on lookers, you can wear the normal Hijab without any extra attractions eg makeup, jewelry etc.

Wudhu is Mustahab (recommended) to perform
in this state so even if one does that and recites the Holy Quran, she is not allowed to touch the words unlike when one is not in the state of haiz, where one can touch the words when they perform the wudhu.

You can recite the Holy Quran even without wudhu

Yes, according to Ayatullah Seestani, you can read the Quran except for the those verses which include obligatory Sajdas, although it is not allowed to touch the verses in such a state.
According to some jurists, when one cleans themselves during the prayer time and recites the Holy Quran will earn the same reward as if one is praying.

Being spiritual is a great feeling which comes about when one follows the commands of Allah. One will naturally feel satisfied becoming close to Allah and this will move his heart. In actuality, it is Allah who does that as a gift for the struggle the believers have done by sincere obedience. However, when it is done with the intention of getting spiritual and feeling great, it is nothing but a satanic ruse. Shaitan wants to drive one far from his Lord and uses all the tricks to do that. Of these are what you are facing at the moment ie feeling low about not getting the feeling of spirituality. If you're trying your best, you've got to wait for that and not keep your intention solely for the reason of feeling spiritual, rather, doing it only for the pleasure of Allah is the right spirituality whether you feel it or not. This doesn't mean that you don't have to try by doing zikr and obeying all the commandments Allah has kept for us. Remember, just the fact that you havent given up and are still praying and reciting the Holy Quran is in itself a great spiritual progress, and none but Allah has granted you this guidance
Be humble, thank Allah always and never stop asking for forgiveness. InshAllah when you will come to feel deeply of the warmth of spirituality in your soul, it will be only Allah's pleasure that you will want to have.
The battle against Satan can only be won if we are aware of his traps, and if we apply the strategies to defeat him and the best way to start is doing all your duties only for the nearness and pleasure of Allah. He will surely give you more reward than you ever expected.

Allah is ever Merciful and ever forgiving. If you get the guidance to repent, then know for sure that He is the one to have bestowed you with this tawfeeq and ready to forgive you even if you repeat the sins provided you don't do it intentionally to displease Him and without trying your best to refrain.
Fasting has a great impact on your faith and keeping away from sins so if you can do that, why not. InshAllah you will earn great rewards from fasting and it will keep you away from sinning.
A virgin man can do Mutah with the right woman even without the parents permission if he knows he will fall into haram. Remember to choose the right partner for Mutah which is a marriage after all, be it only a temporary one. Eg a woman who will not harm you in anyway through diseases or one who will keep your dignity even if she’s not a Muslim (Ahl kitab)
Be certain that Allah will surely help you if you hate sinning and He watches those who try all their best and gives them their accord in this world and the hereafter.

Allah surely tests us only to our capabilities. Temptations to sin are also within the nature of mankind who is the creation of Allah and the power to overcome it has been bestowed by Allah, but this is potentially there and when temptations come on the way, this power of resistance and controlling the vicious self is actualized and man resembles the angles or even attains a higher status near Allah because of reaching perfection in a manner that the angles cannot due to their possessing the faculty of intellect only and not having to combat with the desire and anger.
Man has to overcome their extra faculties of desire and anger and make their intellect rule these faculties which help in sinning and temptations if they loose their equilibrium by not using it in their appropriate manner.
The test is great but so is the reward. In the Quran it mentions that
"Indeed, successful is the one who has purified himself."
This purification is to balance the faculties and let the intellect rule the faculty of desire and anger.
You can read.more on this by searching on the perfect man in Islam and books like these mainly found in Al islam.org library.

Regarding this there are numerous verses in the Holy Quran and i will mention one that directly talks about it.

And as for him who fears to stand in the presence of his Lord and forbids his own soul from its whims and caprices then surely Paradise is the abode. (79:40 & 41)
Whims and caprices are none other then sinful instigations set up by ones own vicious self and shaitan.
So, it is a basic fact that we must have self-control in order to refrain from these whims and desires. If we believe that we should just do what we want by satisfying and gratifying ourselves, then there is no point in talking about spiritual direction.
The habit of falling into a sin begins will lack of self control and will power and to build it, there are numerous traditions on how to go about it.
The first step is to awaken ones heart and sincerely repent. Allah loves those who continuously ask for His forgiveness even if they flip and commit some mistakes that they had not intended to along the way.
Great scholars like Ayatullah Bahjat said that if one were to strictly follow the sharia, ie refraining from the forbidden acts and performing all the obligatory actions, one would purify himself and become close to Allah s.w.t.
Whilst doing this, give charity in the way of Allah as much as you can because if you detach the thing you love like property and wealth, then you will begin to taste what purity is all about inshAllah.
Remember, Islam lays for us simple rules to follow and there is nothing complicated on how to go about it. Everything is in our innate disposition to follow and this is but a reminder for us.
The guilt you have is because you innate self wants to be the best infront of your creator, who is pure and wants His servants to also be pure so that they can get closer to Him and attain perfection.

Yes it is a true fact that the Holy Prophet (s.a.w) granted this form of recitation to His beloved daughter Hazrat Fatema (s.a) and declared it to be better than a maidservant and in fact and whole world and what is in it. You can find out of its merits in dua.org by typing significance of the tasbeeh.

There is no specific dua apart from the general duas which you should always make for your children. One dua you should recite daily is the dua for ones children and this is found in Saheefa Sajjafiya of Imam Sajjad (a.s). Its an excellent dua and inshallah both you and your children can benefit from it.
If your son is simply not ready to listen, then the least you can do is to explain him that in order not to affect his future generation after marrying a Kaafir woman, he should at least make her accept the shia faith. After doing your duty to your best, leave the rest upon Allah and be calm. By nagging and forcing, you can never amend any relationship whatsoever. Let him experience it if he insists and see the outcome himself. You may never know, she might change her faith and become better than expected such that she could help your son in turn. Many Such incidents have been heard to happen also in my knowledge.
InshAllah things will take their own path but try never to disown your son even if you have to appear otherwise for him to realize his mistakes.

Your sister is vulnerable in her own situation and advising her to stop this relationship is futile. If you think you wont be nagging by taking some examples of such marriages between different sects of religion that have failed or are facing a lot of hardship, maybe you can give her such examples. You could also advice her lovingly to seek advice from a learned member of the community or an elder or close aunt or even a good friend of hers. In the meantime you and your parents can pray and tell her without pressuring her that she should really think well before making this big decision which would effect her and even her generation ahead.
If the person she's chosen is a good man, he might change also due to her, one may never know, although it is quite rare but it is possible. To marry a sunni is not forbidden if they don't have ill feelings towards the Holy Prophet and his family. If they do, then they would not be sunni but Naasibi.
In the end, maybe you can tell her to take out an istekhara and see what Allah has to say regarding the marriage. After all she will be confused when you all are warning her of the consequences so it befits that you take out an istekhara after she makes the intention and wants it to be done.
Every kind of prayer can be done to ask Allah for good outcomes eg, isteghfaar, salawats, reciting Hadithe kisa, a forty day amaal, etc.
InshAllah she will make the right decision.

When a mother faces such a predicament in life, it becomes incumbent on all her children to help her and take care of her physically and emotionally as much as they can. Due to the son being the stronghold of the family after the father, it is his duty to care for his mother even if his wife is not able to. In Islam, the sons wife should regard her mother in law like her mother and take as much care of her, but if for some reasons she cannot or does not wish to do so, then it is upon her son to hire someone to take care of her if he himself cannot take up the heavy responsibility to take care of his handicapped mother. The reward is immense and so is the satisfaction not to mention the heartfelt prayers done by a helpless mother to her children.
As for the daughters, they too should share some kind of responsibility if they have support from their spouses and families and if it doesn't hinder her other responsibilities. The same reward would also go for them.
Be sure that to leave a mother facing such a helpless state and not receiving help from her children will surely earn the wrath of Allah.
The children should remind themselves when they were young and helpless that it was their mother who bore many difficulties to raise them. This is a test from Allah to see if they're performing their duties well enough now.
Lastly, they should also remember to be kind and benevolent to their mother who also needs emotional support apart from being helped physically. InshAllah it will be easy for them with the help of Allah.

If you were to recite Dua Ahad for 40 days and continue doing so sincerely, you will see the imam of our time InshAllah. More important than that is that he is always a witness for us and seeing our deeds day in day out. When one is watchful over this, you will feel the blessed presence of Imam Mahdi (a.s) and this will give you a deep happiness and satisfaction even more than seeing him in presence. He surely knows how much his shia remember him and yearn to be in his presence so this meeting will be fulfilled some day or the other inshAllah.
All duas are answered because calling Allah has no refusal. The prayer can be delayed or something better can be given, or sins can be wiped away or every thing can be fulfilled including reward for calling upon Allah in this world and the hereafter. Every thing is giving here from the one is is always listening and loves one who calls upon him with sincerity.
Dua of Tawassul is specially for asking for fulfilment of Hajat. Recite that regularly and inshAllah all your prayers will be answered.

Gheebah or talking bad about a person or people in their absence is mentioned in the Holy Quran as an evildoing and like eating the flesh of ones dead brother which is deplorable.
However, the doors of forgiveness are always open to a believer who does not wish to repeat his mistake and truly asks repentance to Allah s.w.t.
It would be a good thing to ask the person who was talked about for forgiveness, although in most cases, the ill feeling would tend to increase. Therefore, one can take out sadaqa for the person and try his best to spread good words about him wherever he talked evil about the person in a manner that he should be honored in front of those who regarded him a bad person after hearing the gheebah.
It is best to retain good relationship with the person so now one should try their best not to speak anything behind him and amend their relationship of brotherhood.
A true believer will always try his best to stop listening to gheebah as well. In a gathering for instance, one can either excuse one self, or say good about the person when hearing things spoken against him, or even try advising the people around him of the severity of punishment for whose who do gheebah.
All in all, continues repentance should be asked by the one who engages in such an action.

A verse of the Holy Quran strongly emphasizes the importance of brotherhood and the closest of brotherhood should be first felt and started between siblings.

The Holy Quran says,
The believers are but brothers, so make reconciliation between your brothers and fear Allah that you may receive mercy.
Surat al-Hujurat 49:10

Sibling rivalry is sometimes apparent and other times hidden. Its so easy to solve this when it is hidden because when one is so connected with the other and comes from single parents, their hearts soften easily specially if they keep on trying. When this indifference gets more intense such that the actions towards one another get cold, then it could turn to a grudge or dislike but never can it be hatred.
We ought to remember and try our best to help our brothers and sisters, this way, we will begin to feel like helping our brothers and sisters in faith too. In reality we are helping ourselves. When we pray for them, the angels pray for us. Fulfilling the rights of brotherhood in Islam is a means for Allah to support us and reward us in the Hereafter. Failing our brothers and sisters in Islam results in Allah withdrawing this support.
Try to meet often and take gifts for your siblings to patch up. Write messages and congratulate them sincerely on happy occasions. Show warmth for them in your words and actions even if it be through sending messages or emails and better still by sending gifts for them even if they're small.
I guess if one party is ready to realize this and give in, slowly it will make a huge difference and the relationship amongst the siblings will become stronger with efforts and prayers for the betterment of themselves and the community.
If this is done exclusively for the sake of Allah, it will make things easier inshAllah.

Istekhara should only be taken when there is utter confusion on what action should be taken. In your case, it was so obvious for you that the spouse you had selected for yourself matched the right criteria, therefore, there was no need of istekhara in the first place. If your parents did that without your deep consent even if you outwardly proclaimed otherwise, the istekhara is null and void because you weren't for it due to being sure about your own decision.
On the other hand, scholars say that whenever two istekharas are taken, there should be a different intention for both of them regarding the matter for which it is undertaken. In your case, your parents kept the same intention for both the istekharas so there is a problem to that too.
Thirdly, the person who takes out the istekhara also matters. The more pious and God fearing the person is with the right beliefs and mindset, the more the answer is appropriate.
There are so many deeper meanings of the versus of the Holy Quran that only the awliya of Allah (chosen ones) can understand it so if the istekhara said the marriage would last good for two months, there is simply no proof for the validity and i believe it is superstitious to go for that.
If the shia Mawlana took out the istekhara with your consent only and not your parents, then it is the right one. It is left on you though to convince your parents about this.
Another option is to communicate to your parents and make them understand that it is your own life after all and you yourself have to make the decision, so you have decided to get married to the man of your choice by laying full trust in Allah the Almighty who loves it when decisions are made and trust is kept upon Him, and the outcome will follow with His mercy and blessings InshAllah.

If you have found out about the boy and whether he has the right criteria of being your spouse which is faith and righteous actions coupled with compatibility with yourself, then I suppose it should be enough with duas and tawassul to the Ahl bait (a.s)
There is a form of istekhara that is authenticated in the Ahadith which is from Imam Jaffer Sadiq a.s also in Bihar al Anwar.
If this is done, then taken help from Allah, you will make the decision with your right mind.
This is done as.follows.
First remember the greatness of Allah and His power, then thank and praise Him and then recite salawat for the Holy Prophet and his pure progeny peace be on them and follow it by reciting this phrase
«انی اسئلك و انك عالم الغيب و الشهاده الرحمن و الرحيم و انت علام الغيوب استخير الله برحمه»
The meaning is,
I seek from you, and you are the knower of everything hidden and apparent, the All Merciful and the Ever Merciful, the knower of all secrets, I yearn for goodness from the All perfect Allah through His Mercy.
InshAllah you will get to know how much the boy can be suitable for you when you strongly feel the decision you want to make.

Although every one comes on the earth on a clean slate and pure from all sins, but sometimes the parents do have a role in the future of their children specially if they have sinful lives and haven't repented and not tried to warn their children about the punishment of evildoings.
If parents have sinned but asked for repentance, then the children will have a better chance of being inclined towards the truth and be faithful. In both cases, the child when comes of age has a free will to choose between good and bad and although it becomes difficult to be on the right path for the children whose parents are sinful, it still isn't impossible.
Those whose parents have repented after sinning or are among the faithful ones are more inclined to be on the right path although they can always be misguided because of shaitan being our open enemy and the vicious self which moves us towards evil.
Children will face the consequences of their misguided parents but will not be accounted for their parent's sins.
A verse in the Holy Quran points out to this indirectly also stating the fact that not only is it the duty of parents to warn their children but also if they don't do so, then they will cause their children to also end up in the hell fire with a painful punishment.
The verse is in Sura Tahrim ayat 6 which says,
O you who have believe, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.

According to traditions, a woman during pregnancy enjoys a great reward and her
rank is equal to that of a Martyr (Shaheed)
The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:
“The reward of a woman, from the time of pregnancy until birth and breastfeeding is the same as the reward of one on the path of Allah, and if a woman leaves this world during that time because of the hardship and pains of birth, she has the reward of a martyr.” 
Keeping this in mind, you should be well aware that Allah expects you to be obedient to Him and do as much as possible to please Him and to earn His pleasure is but to your own benefit and perfection.
You have to see if you can withstand the pain without any repercussion, then stand and pray without prolonging it. If you think you cannot to that, you can do the qiyaam ( standing and reciting the hamd and sura) and rukoo while standing and sajda by sitting and keeping your head upon the turbah on a table or desk.
If you cannot stand and sit, then just sit and pray and do the sajda whilst sitting and keeping your head upon a table whilst doing the sajda. This is for you to decide how much you can bear the pain without any further repercussions like further pain.
Remember to at least start off to repay the qaza of the prayers left undone during the month you missed to pray. Feel blessed that Allah has guided you by reminding you of the importance of prayer through the guilt you have of having missed your prayers. Remind yourself that you have been missing the sweetest conversation and act in this world and be smart to get hold of it before its too late and shaitan gets a chance to overtake you. He doesn't want mankind to benefit from their lives nor does he want them to have the utmost pleasure. Prayers is one thing that if you make it with concentration, you will benefit and have deep satisfaction in your life as well as the life of your child to.be InshAllah.

Your daughter has come of age and if she has an opportunity to go for Hajj, it is the best chance for her to take it and she can control her period by taking appropriate pills. InshAllah she has a fruitful journey.

It seems like your daughter is in a state of confusion and needs help before things could get worse. Shaitan gets to youth who are pure hearted and practice their faith like your daughter is.
Now that you've tried to explain her and she is still confused, try showing her the right books to read and find out for herself. There are many books available on line specially in Al-islam.org like fiqhi laws for youth or exclusively for women and men etc. You can search and show her what books she can be enlightened with and then suggest that you discuss between yourselves. If you know of a good practicing lady in your community, try involving her also in the discussion without making it sound that you are nagging or advising your daughter too much.
Young people often like to discover things for themselves and then do they feel satisfied.
Inshallah with time you will see the change and of course with praying to Allah alongside.

Its good that you have come to realize this at least. Its one instinct that comes to all, and if it is progressed, it will go leaps and bounds and destroy ones faith
Therefore, this undesirable instinct must be curbed with all the force at the disposal of a person. It should not be allowed to flourish and grow. If the instinct of envy is allowed to persist, It will reach such proportions that fighting it out will not be possible.
The first thing you have to do is to inculcate in yourself that whatever your friend has, the giver of the blessings in only Allah and none else, least of it herself. Pray to Allah to bless you with better than that and be happy that Allah can bless a person to such an extent.
Don't ever wish that the blessings being taken away from her because that would mean you are taking in to the instinct of jealousy and making it grow. Don't let shaitan get the upper hand with this undesirable character trait.
Praise her in front of people so that you can share the happiness of her blessings. This is so remarkable an action that you will really begin to feel the happiness even if you did it half-hearted or pretentiously at first. The great thing that will come out of this is that Allah will grant you the same blessing and better than what your friend has inshAllah.

The feeling of wanting to get more connected to our Imam of the time shows that He too is yearning and praying and guiding you towards that. We all fail sometimes to carry out our duties perfectly but that would not mean that we should stop struggling for the same. After trying your best to have sincere intentions and noble actions whilst refraining from the unlawful, you will feel more enlightened and the Almighty Allah will teach you Himself of how to go on further towards the path of perfection.
You can recite Dua of Ahad every morning and make an intention that whatever good you do should be as counted as Hadiya for the Imam of our time.
Other than that, talk to the imam of our time like the one who is most dear and beloved to you and cherish to have those moments. You can talk in a normal way because he knows what goes on in the hearts of the believers.
Please do pray for all the momineen as well to get this connection such that they will be able to serve the imam just like what you want for yourself.
Be sure that your dua has already reached acceptance.

God has created man in a way that whatever he eats and drinks has an influence on his mind, body and soul. 
Haram food effects the soul in way that he won't be able to do any good actions.
As far as eating in gatherings from a non Muslim is concerned, one should be careful to avoid it and try their best to excuse themselves. Although however, if one were to ask Can we eat food cooked by a non Muslim when we do not know whether or not it is clean? According to Ayatullah Seestani, the answer is that a Muslim is allowed to eat any food made by a person whose faith and religion is not known to him, no matter whether that person touched it with wetness or did not touch it, provided that he does not know or is not sure that the food consists of what is forbidden to him.
Also It is permissible to eat the food and it is not necessary for the Muslim to question the person who prepared the food about his beliefs or disbeliefs, or whether or not he had touched the food, even if that inquiry is very convenient and natural for one who wants to ask.
If he knows for sure that they are disbelievers, then it becomes haram for one to consume the food however difficult it may for them to convey to their hosts and in such cases, one has tp either tell them with politeness or find an excuse not to attend the gatherings.

With Allah's unlimited grace, we try all we can to advice our brothers and sisters in faith and earnestly pray for the goodness of everyone and the society as a whole inshallah.
Islam is a perfectly balanced religion without any extremity or negligence and emphasizes that too.
You can request your future spouse if you can stay in another house nearby and mention the reason which is clear that living with nan mahram can be very difficult sometimes.
If he doesn't accept and has all the valid reasons, there is no dead end and you will still be able to practice your hijab and at the same time live up to your husband's expectations especially if you explain him of the limitations of living with a joint family. Taking to him beforehand will prepare his mind of what he will face.
You will of course have your private room to give the rights to your husband and beautify yourself too.
Near your extended family, you can be polite and respectful and wear simple clothing. Never get too close to.your brother in laws at the expense of your faith.
If he doesn't agree to this, then think carefully of the type of spouse you have selected before entering into marriage. Being a hauzawi, you must be aware of the values of our religion which only wants us to lead a perfect life, thus you must have a spouse who is compatible to your thinking and lifestyle also.
InshAllah Allah will help you go about this.

Makeup to be worn infront of Na mahram is forbidden and attracting them would be counted as a sin. You can keep it and use it appropriately for your spouse or other gatherings where women usually attend, there is no harm in that, rather, it can be an act of virtue if done for the sake of Allah's pleasure.
If you still want to distribute it, do so to people whom you know would not use it in the wrong way as I've mentioned, ie, attracting Na mahram.

Yes that is fine, since your intention should be that they use it for halal purposes (ie when they are with mahrems only)