Mualimah Nasim Walji Pirmohamed

Mualimah Nasim Walji Pirmohamed
 
Age:
Location: Birmingham UK
Nationality: United Kingdom

Public QnA

What if it’s just because of the husbands ego or he simply doesn’t think she should leave the house? Wouldn’t that be loosing all her freedom? Islam has given women every right but she doesn’t have those rights simply because the husband refuses to. Also I read somewhere that husband’s are considered next to God to their wives in islam, why is this so?

Husband is not considered next to God. Basically Islam came to provide safety and protection for wives. So I am not sure why he wouldn't allow you to leave the house for genuine reasons.

This has been bugging me for a while, if islam doesn’t discriminate between the rights of husband and wife, why is it that a wife cannot refuse to have intimacy with the husband whereas a husband can refuse intimacy for 4 months? Also, why can’t the wife leave the house without the husbands permission?

Islam is a holistic package and there's absolutely no discrimination by Allah swt to both the genders. it is wajib upon the husband to fulfill the rights of his wife and vice versa. This subject needs independent discussions and needs time to share these thoughts and I can't discuss all here. A woman only needs to seek permission from her husband just for the sake of her own protection if she goes out so that husband is aware of her know abouts. There is a deeper philosophy in this matter. There's no discrimination.

I wanted to know if it permissible for women to make and earn from youtube or any other social media app? My areas are going to be mainly motherhood childbirth postpartum etc where I plan to educate women on these topics

Yes you can if it's all halal videos

Is it appropriate for someone to be asking a girl in the mosque to get to know her for marriage? I mean like actually going up to her an asking or is this considered not appropriate? I don’t know why but although the person is in a mosque environment, I saw it as ‘ayb for someone to just come up and ask like that. It would be more appropriate if an intermediary person but would the first scenario still be deemed not appropriate?

Yes there needs to be some etiquette and protocol to take steps in reference to asking for someone in marriage

There is black magic on my husband to separate us. He is away and he doesn’t even believe in these things so what I should do?

In this month of Rajab, Istighfaar is best and have faith in Allah. Give sadaqa and keep adhan loudly in the house during namaz times

I am a lady that is young and I am willing to get married. I know I am ready for it as well as mentally as physically but the problem I have got is that the country where I live there is a huge lack of shia people/community in here. Thereby I asked and talked to my own parents many times about my interest to get married but both of them don’t show any support and are not willing to search nor are they showing initiative. I have no idea what to do. Would you recommend to get married to someone who lives abroad?

There's nothing wrong with marrying someone who lives abroad. The criteria of marriage is honesty, trustworthy, good akhlaq, taqwa and as long as you have done your best to know the person you are marrying.

I have chosen someone to marry. Our parents have spoken, they have visited my house and we have visited them and both families are happy. We have known eachother and each others families and I’m happy to go forward and be married but before doing so I want to make sure I know everything I should know about marriage such as my rights. Where is the best place I can get this information from as I want to make sure I really know everything and am well equipped for this life commitment. Also my mum is happy with the family and with who I’ve chosen but she is hesitant just because of the fact I am young and he is not financially stable yet which I know are not islamically noteworthy factors but I have a difficult time explaining that to her. I’d rather be married sooner than later, but often I don’t know how confident I am that I am ready in the sense that I know if I know enough yet. I also suffer with anxiety and a lot of it primarily has to do with us being long distance and rarely seeing eachother, I don’t know if that will become better or worse or how I will adapt to coping with that once we are married.

I can assist you in terms of mentoring on Marriage. Also there are many videos on Marriage online and books with ref to this topic. Also have faith and Tawwakul in Allah swt. Financial independence is important however Allah swt is the provider. You can marry him provided your parents are happy. Need to work on your Imaan.

I have a question about pregnancy and abortion. I’m 6 weeks pregnant and not married. The father of the child does not want the child. My parents dont know of this. I know I did a very bad thing and I dont know what to do. What is the Islamic view on abortion? is this a reason to abort the child or should I keep it. What if my parents end their contact with me? Should I raise the child alone?

You cannot abort the child. Was your relationship with him Halaal? If not, Is the guy ready to marry you? Unfortunately you cannot abort the child under any circumstances. Please speak to your mum about this. Also speak to the therapist here. You need to tell your mum about this and explain how you feel. is it possible to give the child after birth for adoption?

My husband and I have been having difficulties for a long time. He has left the family house and gone abroad in that time he has cut off contact with me. I don’t want to go through a divorce, can you please recommend duas I can read please?

Pease do everything to salvage this situation. Try and seek mediation from your local scholar. Please continue to communicate with him. Pray for guidance and solution. Recite Ziyarah Ashura for 40 days.

Husband doesn’t want to work and shows his agression and violence in front of kids by the name of depression

You need to seek professional help

My son since he got engaged has stopped loving his parents. He talks to us when in need of anything may it be money or advice. He is inclined towards his in laws and fiancee.
What duas can I recite to get love and respect from our son ?

You can revive this relationship with your son with lots of love and positive communication with your son. Its important you keep the communications channels open and pray for them. Please turn back to Duas from Ahlulbayt a.s. Hadithul Kisa will help you

I come from a family where hijab is not seen much. Alhamdulillah we have had raised in Islamic environment. I am thinking about punishment for not wearing hijab? I am really sad to say but I can’t imagine myself starting hijab. What should I do? Is the punishment for this mentality massive.

Modesty, Chastity and Hayaa of a woman is Wajib

I feel very shameful to tell you about this but I’ve a boyfriend who is a Hindu guy and due to my sexual feelings we have kissed each other many times, held each other’s hands and now our relationship has become so deep that even he’s asking me for a sexual intercourse. Whatever mistakes I’ve made were just out of my pleasure and the feelings that have been aroused in me but now I’ve understood that it’s a big sin and maybe I won’t get forgiveness on the day of judgment but still I want to repent my sins and seek Allah’s forgiveness. My relationship with him is still not over yet. Please give me some solution regarding my this problem. I know I did blunder but I want to repent everything. Please help me I don’t want to indulge myself in any sexual intercourse from now on, please grant me a solution

Please try and repent a genuine repentance and seek forgiveness from the heart. Also you would need to evaluate your life and your personal goals for your spiritual growth. Adultery and committing these sins is indeed a very grave sin. Please try and rethink of your life and how you can go back to Allah swt. Please keep yourself busy with religious deeds and study more on Islam. Have good noble friends who will remind you of Allah swt. Seek help from religious scholars and listen to lectures that will help you and guide you. Please do not indulge in this sin. It will kill you internally.

Is it okay to grow nails of length more than the fingertips?

Yes, that's OK but as long as they are not too long

I had a male friend but we never talked often but now I have developed feelings for him and I told him, he said he loves someone else means there’s no future so I asked him so we should stop talking it’s wrong. He said we are just friends. I asked him to block me but he didn’t so i blocked him today because I didn’t feel right as its wrong and useless but now i feel disturbed and depressed. Olease tell me did I do right thing and how should I keep myself convinced?

Please let go and don't regret blocking him. It's ok. InshaAllah you will find a better person in life.

I have two grown up boys. I am divorced from their dad, this happened when they were very young. Prior to this marriage I was forced to marry a cousin. I requested a divorce immediately which I got. Then I married my boys dad, my heart was not in it but I married him as I wanted children. Unfortunately it didn’t work out so I got divorced. I was a single parent for a very long time but still wanted a life partner. I then got married to someone of my choice but he divorced me within a year. Then a year ago I again got married and he has lost interest and does not want to be with me. I’m feeling so hurt and don’t understand why I am longing for a life partner even after all my experience. I pray Allah removes the longing in my heart for a partner as this is something I have always had in my heart since I was young, yet everytime I got a partner things have always turned against me.

I think you need to focus on your relationship with Allah swt. Build this relationship with Him. I'm really sorry about your marriage breakups. Try and get closer to Allah and seek His guidance. Do not blame yourself for all that has happened. Maybe it has made you reflect on your life.

I have reoccurring dreams of having incestuous relation. It’s bothering me I wake up disgusted. What does it mean?

Please you need to do istighfaar and seek some spiritual counselling

We all know that Bibi Zahra was too hijabi and no men did saw her. Now after so many years on the shrine of Bibi Zahra many men goes and do ziyarah, infact women should be more. Why this is it?

Its OK for both men and women to visit our beloved Bibi Zahra s.a for her Ziyarah. she is the Sayyidatu Nisa Al Alameen.

I’ve been getting such bad anxiety about reading many hadiths that mention doing a sin that will assure you a place in hell. Why are these hadiths so clear that hell is promised if Allah forgives sins? A lot do not mention that repentance is possible as well which confuses me.

Talking about hell is what we create for ourselves and Allah's doors of mercy and Forgiveness are wide open. There's no confusion, we are creating our own hell and heaven from moment to moment. Allah is a Merciful Rabb. Its us who go astray from His guidance

Can you provide me hadith that speaks of irfan so that I can prove prove people it is not a innovation?

من عرف نفسه فقد عرف ربه

The above hadith proves Irfan through the Holy Prophet saww. There is no Islam without Marifah of Allah swt

I realize and know each and every gunnah I perform or do. Each time I do gunnah, I do have in mind that its wrong. I want to leave each of it but I can’t. At times now I feel my heart is too black that it doesn’t repent. I listen to different majalis and nohas and when in particular I listen to toba ones, I do cry unintentionally too but even at that time I know I’m reciting tobah by heart but I may perform this again. I do not know any solution of this. My aakhirat is destroyed but I solemnly believe Allah that He is All Horgiving. Please guide me how can I make my heart repent and not to repeat gunnah

Please try and do istighfar and tawbah genuinely for 40 days. Recite Ziyārat Ashura as well. Start small steps and repentance is a door to seeking Allah swt. You need to feel and believe in God and feel His presence. spiritual refinement is also needed

My question is that there are many amaal in which a recitation or namaz is asked to offer for 40 days.How can a woman perform these amaal? It will be discontinued due to the menstrual cycle so how would it be possible for woman to complete 40 days?

She can start the amaals and if it is to do for 40 days, she can continue after her periods. For further reference please kindly refer to the Ahkaam book of your Marja Taqleed.

I want to get married to someone I like (not that I already like someone or am in a relationship) but I don’t want to get married to someone who is not according to my liking. My parents are the kind of people who will not consider anything other than a guy being pious which is also a concern to me and I cannot talk to them as well. Kindly help me out. I do have some other expectations from the person I marry but my family has always been saying that nothing should matter if the person is religious and I don’t completely agree to that but I cannot do anything. I cannot marry according to my liking because I’ve always taught that good daughters obey their parents and I cannot tell what I want because I am a middle class average looking girl

Yes, we need to obey our parents but that doesn't mean that you cannot give your opinions, and put your interests forward to them on how you think of marriage and the spouse you are looking for. We need to talk to our parents in a way that they would respect our views as daughters / sons. So please do try and rationalise with your parents and communicate effectively with them. Even if you are middle class, there's no class system in the eyes of Allah swt.

I am so heart broken on the fact that whenever I plan to go on ziyraat my exams always come up as a hinderence between the dates. Is it possible that I am sinning in a way which is not letting me go? Sometimes people often say that ‘You’ll go when you’re being called’ (jab bulawa hoga tab jaogi) and as beautiful as it is, I also felt that maybe mola doesn’t want me there.
Please suggest something that I can do to help myself in this regard

You are trying your best to go for Ziyarah and it's not because you are sinning that you can't go. Maybe you need to plan in such a way that your exams are not on the way. Best wishes. pray to Allah inshaAllah He will soon make it to reality for you to go. Allah is so Merciful and we need to believe in His mercy and His love. Please never think negative of our grand masters

Is it okay to pray to get married to a certain person withouth that person knowing? Also are there any specific ways to pray to get somthing that apparently seems impossible?

Please recite Quran frequently for all your answers and Duas from Ahlulbayt to help you get through to your prayers being fulfilled. Also it requires us to be God conscious

A person applied oil on his hands in good amount so that there is a barrier layer on the skin. Now his 5 year old child urinated such that the urine spilled on the oily hands of the person. How should the person make the hands paak? Should he first remove oil with soap or is it enough to wash hands 3 times?

You just need to wash your hands to make it paak. You can use soap to cleanse the oil out too.

Is it okay to recite other parts of Quran in between a particular Juz?

Yes it is fine inshaAllah. There is no problem

When we go out he buys me stuff to drink etc. But as he has been here he has not offered to pay when we have been grocery shopping. However he did buy my mom a perfume on her bday. I know these examples might be very cultural but i really need advice as I have no experience in life. His dad is going to pay for the wedding and whatever gifts we get from the grooms side (money) his dad qill get it. My mom says it is supposed to be for us. She thinks it sounds like his parents control him alot. I’m so confused and now she says she is concerned for me mainly because of his family. I feel like my heart aches when i think about us not getting married and it makes me want to cry but on the other hand I’m so confused.

Please seek counsel from anyone who is wise in your elders. Can you speak to a scholar in your community? Also you need to really know the intention behind marriage. Why are you getting married to him? is it for Allah swt pleasure or for your own desires? You also need to break out from the cultural norms that are opposite to Islam. I'm sorry I cannot advise more than this as you need to ponder on the essence of marriage. Take examples from Holy Prophet saww and his family. Take counsel, think about everything, than take Istakhara if need be.

I’m engaged to a man I used to chat/talk on the phone with. We used to be very on/off until we got engaged. It has now been about 4 months that we got engaged and my mom is starting to address some concerns. My mom noticed that my fiance does not bring any gifts when he comes to visit. He lives 3 hours away and visit us on the weekends. She says that she is concerned he might be stingy because he always comes empty-handed. He brought me a gift once but that was after I told him that i had gotten him one. I am very anxious about getting married to him because of this. Even though I feel like there is no other for me and I am really attached to him. My mom says that this might be a sign that he might be stingy. My brother always brings gift for his fiance and when i see that I think to myself, why doesnt my fiance do the same.

It is highly recommended to bring gifts according to the Holy Prophet saww. Islam is a beautiful religion. Gift can be as beautiful as a rose. Maybe you can talk about the beauty of Holy Prophet saww and his characteristics on how loving and kind he was when he visited people. We cannot judge him by saying he's stingy so you may need to go out shopping for groceries and find out more how he deals with buying and making payments. Use your best akhlaq as examples

Mera question hai ke agar hamare face per makeup laga ho aur ham Kisi function mein ho aur wahan na mehram ho (Jo serve kar rahe hote hain) to wahan per nakab karna wajib ho jata hai?

You need to observe proper Hijab. putting makeup isn't acceptable if it's too obvious on your face.

This is truly a difficult one for me. I love my wife, I think she is an amazing person, we do have certain conflicts in behaviour but there are many things that she is great at (hijab, modesty etc) but the main area of concern for me (that’s starting to affect the relationship a bit) is attraction. What I’m trying to say is that I’m not attracted to her like how I would like to be. We always get told Deen Deen and yes, absolutely one must uphold the necessity for Deen in marriage but attractiveness is also really really important. Our sex life is hit and miss, me and her both have a high libido but I don’t seem to want to initiate the "act". Reason I can tell I have a high libido is because I can genuinely feel sexual energy building up in me but the satisfaction isn’t there when I do the deed with her.

You may ask why did I decide to marry her in the first place? Out of pure desperation. My circumstances and personal problems at the time forced me to go ahead and get to know her, and I thought that overtime I would grow more and more attracted to her. Sadly this hasn’t turned out for the better.

Psychologists say that when you go through sexual abuse as a child and other forms of trauma you can develop something called hypersexuality. I have been through few cases of sexual abuse as a child, and unfortunately this has lead me to become addicted to unfortunate imagery in the past. Sexual imagery/videos was first shown to me from a tender age. Thankfully, this is being controlled very well in my life due to a lot of self-accountability. Intimacy is constantly in my mind but I don’t seem to feel fulfilled with my wife. I just can’t seem to release all this tense energy that builds up in me with her. Honestly. All my life I thought there isn’t a need to find someone that you find attractive because if you search someone with Deen you will have everything with it.
If you have any recommendations as to what can be done please tell me. I’m sorry if this question has upset you or made you angry in anyway. Wallah this was not the intention.

What I would suggest is to speak to a male scholar in regards to your question and deep concerns. What I can say is yes attraction is very important and beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. This physical beauty will fade away soon. What will remain is the soul beauty and being soul mates in marriage. You definitely need to go for therapy and also couple counselling. The influence of online world is a disease that has destroyed families and we need to be weary of the consequences in a marriage relationship. I would recommend that you speak to a therapist who can help you heal and also a spiritual guide to help you with protecting your imaan and your marriage. There needs to be empathy in a marriage relationship and imagine if you put your shoes in her place. Just think about it.

I got married and Alhumdulillah have two children, my husband does not help me, he does not provide for the children and he has cheated. I want to get divorced from him do we have to get divorced by a sheikh or are we able to do it amongst ourselves with a witness ?
My husband and I both agree to get divorced.

You will need to go through a proper channel of mediation and through a religious scholar. Please kindly contact a scholar to facilitate this process if things are not working out