I am from India i study in chinaI have a question i love my Imam i am waiting for him but my patience is running out every day new pressure and new problems arrives but i am trying to do my best I just want to meet Imam that’s my goal in life but i feel i am going away and away from it i want to die so that I cannot commit more sins and the pressure of guilt of the sins it’s unbearable I feel hate towards myself I don’t know what to do i just want my Imam to smile because of me just for a second only I don’t want anything from this world So can I pray to god asking for my death?? Is it a sin asking death in please rply asap

That love inshallah stop you from committing sin as it came in Ahadith of our Imams and they help you to obey Allah
Preparation for death is ibadat that means make yourself ready for death when it comes accept it happily
Prepare yourself for the help of Imam as pray for his zuhoor and obey the Allah, Nabi and Imams as
Inshallah Not only imam will smile but he allow you in his team as a sincere and loyal helper.